Kayla Sy, class of 2028
“Expect disappointment and you will never be disappointed.”
Wise words from MJ in the Marvel movie Spider-Man: No Way Home.
But is this really true?
What if expecting disappointment causes disappointment? Then you will always be disappointed.
On the other hand, technically, expecting something prevents the possibility of being surprised by it.
What is disappointment?
If the definition of “disappointment” is “the state or emotion of being disappointed” according to Merriam Webster (rather helpfully), “child” according to stereotypical Asian parents, or “lack of AC in the South Gym” according to me—in other words, a general feeling that isn’t as explicit as one might presume—then this philosophy may be true for some people and false for others. It is with deepest sorrow that I inform you that if you expect a child, you will most likely get a child.
MJ instructs people to expect disappointment—but what if everyone already does it without realizing? Like when that one smart kid says, “I’m gonna fail the test,” and they proceed to score 100% to no one’s surprise except theirs. Is that smart kid being doubly smart by practicing MJ’s philosophy? Is that smart kid being triply smart by watching one of the greatest films ever produced in the history of the world? (This article is not sponsored by Marvel or Sony. I wish it were.)
Bracing yourself for something is a legitimate practice. But bracing yourself for the possibility of something is…exhausting. Depressing.
Infinite possibility exists in a finite world. We shouldn’t squander this privilege by expecting a hurricane, tornado, atom bomb, and failed test to disappoint us tomorrow, then be relieved when only three out of the four actually happen, then expect all four to happen the next day.
Instead, we should use infinite possibility to our advantage to move on despite disappointment. In fact, we could prevent not just the feeling of disappointment, but even its source. Why should we allow ourselves to be plagued by doubt and fear when we could study for the test and move on with our lives? Doing our best while acknowledging that we cannot control the outcome provides a sense of satisfaction and peace of mind that liberates us from the prison of perpetual stress. Afterwards, we could treat ourselves to some ice cream, rewatch all the Spider-Man movies, or waste hours of our lives on our phones—limited only by our imagination. Temporary relief is not as rewarding as unburdened joy.
To clarify, the smart kid wasn’t as smart as they didn’t think they were. (Read it again. It’ll make sense eventually.) MJ herself dismisses her initial philosophy by the end of the movie and takes on a new perspective that is both optimistic and realistic.
Life’s too short to expect disappointment.
Let me be surprised.
I definitely surprised myself by writing this piece. I'm a huge Marvel fan and have been somewhat disappointed by the movies recently...but I have hope! If I expect disappointment, Thanos (or whoever the bad guy is at this point) will have already won. My favorite part of the piece is the line "To clarify, the smart kid wasn’t as smart as they didn’t think they were" because the transitional phrase and conciseness of the sentence are both misleading; the sentence is still confusing, just like the concept of disappointment, just like life, just like the multiverse.